From either side of the comparison, condemnation stings. Regardless of which path is chosen, someone will certainly criticize that choice. I considered declining further invitations to speak when a woman commented at a “Know Your Religion” lecture, “After hearing you, I felt discouraged because I will never know the scriptures as well. But then I thought, instead of going to school, I chose to follow the prophet – I married and had a family.” Without knowing my choices, she had judged me as disobedient and seemed doubly irked that I was happy about it. I was reminded that I had not embarked on a career path as my first choice but was led to it by a power greater than I.
Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?
I have been in charge of getting photos of the women in our ward for a video on Visiting Teaching. Kelly's idea was to video-tape the older sister talking about Visiting Teaching. She wanted still shots of the rest of the women in the ward. There are 120+. 
I have flies in my office. LOTS of flies. I kill a half dozen a day. I must make work look fun, because I have flies on the outside crashing into the window. It must look fun in here. 
My mother was on a diet every Monday of my years in her home. She tried everything. At times, she was quite successful, but in the last years of her life her body resisted dieting. She was a large lady. She had to eat almost nothing in order to lose. Her body seemed to say, “Hey, we know we are headed for starvation, so latch on to those pounds.”
I seemed to have my Father’s metabolism and could eat anything without gaining. However, that has ended. In that last 20 years, I’ve gained 40 pounds. If that continues over the next twenty years, I’ll be a blimp by the time I die. I'll be one of those people on the news that they have to remove from their beds with a crane.
The doctors were always telling mom to lose weight as it would be better for her lungs. I went with her to Dr Abdullah (in Odgen). He was telling her she needed to lose weight. I said, "Yes, but it is pretty hard to exercise when you don't feel good. It is a vicious cycle." He jumped on that saying, “Exercise is good. I’m a proponent. I ride my bike to work every day. But you will not lose weight by exercising. It is all in diet. If your metabolism is slow, you'll have to really cut back, but it is all in what you eat.” I had never heard that before.
I have tried eating sensibly (not having junk food around). I’ve tried exercising daily. Nothing made any difference. I’m not sure I’ve ever lost a pound in my entire life. :-) I still have the original baby fat I was born with.
I admire people who have lost weight. Normally they credit exercise and diet. I am not a good dieter. I want something easy. I looked into the acai berry diet (you just don’t get hungry) and the colon cleanse. There is something wonderful about the idea of a colon cleanse. It is not that I am fat. It is just that my colon is filled with sludge. Of course, I haven’t figured out how that colon sludge got to my thighs, but I STILL like the idea. And you don't have to do anything - but eat the berry juice and take the medication.
My hair dresser said she tried the acai diet. I asked, "Did it work?" She said with a smile, "If it did, would I look like this?" We both laughed.
In talking to my petite daughter, she mentioned her calorie limit – 1700 calories if she doesn’t want to gain. Some breathing test they took at work measured her metabolism. She is good to exercise, is almost 30 years younger than me, and still 1700 calories for a MAINTENANCE diet! She said, “I figured anything I can chart I can conquer. You just need to start counting your calories to see what you eat. I omit butter from most foods, eat low fat mayo (or none at all), and limit my portion size.”
I tried it. My goal is 1300-1500 calories (if I want to lose a pound a week). I lost my first three pounds last month! The trick is - plan what you will eat! I used to always count calories and then when they were all gone, go grazing through the house looking for anything to eat. The planning way puts it in a spreadsheet and makes you decide what you are going to eat to stay within limits. I can't eat just one cookie. It is easier not to have any than to stop after one. I can eat lots of fruits and vegetables, but even good things have to be counted. 1300 calories is so few. I can hardly believe it. Potatoes are awful! Almost anyway you have them, they are 300 calories. Butter puts you off the charts immediately. One half cup servings are tiny. Even frosted mini-wheats are 30 calories each - and they don't even taste good. As you can see, this has been a reality check for me.
Anyway, I decided the trick is you have to be willing to pay the price. You can't just want to lose weight - you have to pay the price that the goal takes.
I remember going visiting teaching to a woman who did wonderful handwork. She had made an embroidered wall hanging that was beautiful. My partner (trying to praise) said, "That is so beautiful. I would pay $100 for it." The woman said, "Well, that is about what the kit cost for the supplies and framing. Then, I still had to do all the work."
Another time I heard someone say, "I would love to play the piano like that. I would pay $10000 for that talent." I thought, but what did acquiring the talent really cost - in terms of hours, the piano, the books, the lessons?
In all things, we have to be willing to pay the price. We reap what we sow.
Realize that enduring happiness doesn't, come from "making it." What do you long for? Fame? Fortune? Unlimited leisure? Imagine that I could snap my fingers and give it to you. Would you now be happy? Indeed, you'd be euphoric, in the short run. But gradually you would adapt to your new circumstance and life would return to its normal mix of emotions. To recover the joy, you would now need an even higher high.
The consistent finding from dozens of studies is that objective life circumstances, once we've adapted to them, bear little relation to people's happiness. At one extreme, people with disabilities—even those paralyzed after car accidents—typically recover normal levels of day-to-day happiness. At the other extreme, people who've won a state lottery also settle back to their characteristic level of happiness.
Consider, too, how we have "made it." In 1957, per-person income, expressed in today's dollars, was less than $8,000. Today it is $16,000. With doubled incomes, we (at least those not left behind by the growing gap between rich and poor) now have double the material goods that money can buy—including twice as many cars per person. We also have microwave ovens, color TVs, VCRs, answering machines, and $12 billion a year worth of brand-name athletic shoes.
So are we indeed happier? We are not. In 1957, 35 percent of Americans told the National Opinion Research Center they were "very happy." In 1991, only 31 percent said the same. Meanwhile, depression rates have soared.
Ergo, wealth is like health: Although its utter absence breeds misery, having it is no guarantee of happiness. There is no need to envy the rich. Happiness is less a matter of getting what we want than wanting what we have.
So, I've rediscovered it yet again. I always thought if I got a big NSF grant I would be
so happy. The picture shows not one, but three big grants and three supplements that were all funded. I should be ecstatic! I'm busy and overwhelmed - but not one bit happier that I was when I had no NSF grants. Of course, there are lots of perks - but lots of responsibility to use the money well and be a good manager of all the people we've hired.
Grandma Hurst used to always say something like, "Don't wish your life away saying, I'll be happy when I'm through school. I'll be happy when I'm married. I'll be happy when I have kids. I'll be happy when the little ones can get their own drink of milk. I'll be happy when I have some time to myself. I'll be happy when the kids are launched. I'll be happy when someone comes to visit. I'm lonely. If you aren't happy now, you won't be happy WHEN..."
