Happiness is...

I remember a talk someone gave a long time ago. It went something like:
If you have lost a pound, you will be happy for an hour.
If you get a raise a work, you will be happy for a day.
If your team wins the game, you will be happy for a week.
If you win the lottery, you will be happy for a month.

I don't remember the details, but I remember thinking, "Yeah, happiness is like that. You keep waiting to be happy and then you get what you thought would make you happy - and it doesn't last."

I had my braces on for FOUR YEARS. I couldn't wait to get them off, but when I got them off it was no big moment. I was "happy for an hour".

David Meyers said:

Realize that enduring happiness doesn't, come from "making it." What do you long for? Fame? Fortune? Unlimited leisure? Imagine that I could snap my fingers and give it to you. Would you now be happy? Indeed, you'd be euphoric, in the short run. But gradually you would adapt to your new circumstance and life would return to its normal mix of emotions. To recover the joy, you would now need an even higher high.

The consistent finding from dozens of studies is that objective life circumstances, once we've adapted to them, bear little relation to people's happiness. At one extreme, people with disabilities—even those paralyzed after car accidents—typically recover normal levels of day-to-day happiness. At the other extreme, people who've won a state lottery also settle back to their characteristic level of happiness.

Consider, too, how we have "made it." In 1957, per-person income, expressed in today's dollars, was less than $8,000. Today it is $16,000. With doubled incomes, we (at least those not left behind by the growing gap between rich and poor) now have double the material goods that money can buy—including twice as many cars per person. We also have microwave ovens, color TVs, VCRs, answering machines, and $12 billion a year worth of brand-name athletic shoes.

So are we indeed happier? We are not. In 1957, 35 percent of Americans told the National Opinion Research Center they were "very happy." In 1991, only 31 percent said the same. Meanwhile, depression rates have soared.

Ergo, wealth is like health: Although its utter absence breeds misery, having it is no guarantee of happiness. There is no need to envy the rich. Happiness is less a matter of getting what we want than wanting what we have.

So, I've rediscovered it yet again. I always thought if I got a big NSF grant I would be so happy. The picture shows not one, but three big grants and three supplements that were all funded. I should be ecstatic! I'm busy and overwhelmed - but not one bit happier that I was when I had no NSF grants. Of course, there are lots of perks - but lots of responsibility to use the money well and be a good manager of all the people we've hired.

Grandma Hurst used to always say something like, "Don't wish your life away saying, I'll be happy when I'm through school. I'll be happy when I'm married. I'll be happy when I have kids. I'll be happy when the little ones can get their own drink of milk. I'll be happy when I have some time to myself. I'll be happy when the kids are launched. I'll be happy when someone comes to visit. I'm lonely. If you aren't happy now, you won't be happy WHEN..."