So Glad to Wake Up

Have you ever had one of those dreams where your world falls apart and are so thrilled when you wake up and learn it wasn't real?

I love this thought by Kobi Yamada:
Just think how happy you'd be if you lost everything and everyone you have right now, and then,
somehow got everything back again.

It is a message of gratitude. We are going through tough times with Drew's medical problems - it's like one of those nightmares you can't seem to wake up from - but there is much to be grateful for.

I need a break...

I am with my daughter and her family. Drew had a splenic embolization to try to kill part of his spleen. It has been a rough week for them. Poor Drew has felt so bad. They said a full splenetomy would have been easier on him. When I was in the hospital on Wednesday, he wouldn't talk at all, except to express displeasure. By Thursday, he was doing some better. He would at least listen to a story. By evening, he would laugh at Toy Story and talk a bit.

Poor Lori. Drew wants him by her side at all times. He doesn't even want her to leave to put on her contacts or take a shower. She has barely left his side for an entire week. They sleep in the same twin bed, cheek to cheek. She must be exhausted.

It appears the procedure is not going to be the magic bullet we hoped for. His counts are still not good. His platelets are so low they are transfusing him. His hemaglobin is also dropping. While they expected low platelets for a while, at this point in time they thought his body would have recovered - as the effects on blood counts of a dying spleen should be immediate. The hematologist figures the spleen that remains is eating everything it gets. Drew seems to be recovering from the procedure - it just didn't accomplish what they hoped it would.

Tough news.

They thought they would be coming home today, but now it looks like it could be a while. They are considering a full splenectomy - but maybe the liver is getting involved in the destruction as well.


Since Drew was feeling better, Lori allowed Kram to replace her at the hospital for the day yesterday. As she explained to Drew that she was going home for a while because she needed a break, Drew said, "I NEED a break. I NEED to go home."

Poor little guy. He does need a break!

Asking the wrong question?

In talking about a personal decision, a member of our ward said, "As I prayed to receive an answer, the spirit whispered to me, 'You are asking the wrong question. You really need to be praying for vitality' - the ability to deal with the challenges you have been given.

Another friend, in talking about her elderly father said, "I don't really even know what to pray for. He's had a good life. Do I pray that he will have five more years?"

When I was a child, I remember praying for a magic wand. I figured that if I got my magic wand, I would never have to ask God for anything again. I could just get it for myself.

As hard as it is to get answers to prayers - at least the answers we want, I am grateful I don't have my magic wand. I'm afraid I would be found asking the wrong question far too often...

The Labor Day Family Reunion

Aren't these the cutest relatives you've ever seen? These are such special people. Notice how in each picture they add another person. Like they couldn't figure out who to include.

In the first, Mont has his arm around his sister-in-law, Doreen. In the second, Clayton is holding his sister's hand. In the last picture, they are finally sitting next to their spouses.

These are such loving people. As you see how close they are to each other, you know why you love to be with them!

The Hurst Cousins

McKenzie and Nicole loved Trisha's little ones (Zach and Halle). Ben and Michelle are hanging out in the background.

Drew

Here's a few pictures from our last trip to Boise.

Virtual Cookoff

I've been updating the family recipe book as my niece is getting married. We've been doing this for years. We're on to our second volume! All her Aunts, sisters, and in-laws (to be) have sent me their recipes. I feel like I am conducting a virtual cookoff. I'll bet they've sent me five different recipes for caramel corn, a few for snickerdoodles, and several for maple syrup. It is entertaining. I see a recipe from the mother (given for an earlier edition of the book) followed by new versions from her married daughters. The differences are minimal, but maybe the daughters have found the small changes enough to be the "best ever", "exceptional", or "killer".

Two of her aunts submitted the exact same recipe. Who should be given credit? (I made the diplomatic choice.)

I'm just the cookbook editor. You folks will have to have your own cookoff! I'm including all of the recipesl. The new version of the recipe book will be posted soon to my home page. Look for it there.

The roller coaster

We're on a roller coaster ride that just won't end. We're hanging on, just waiting for it to come to a safe stop. Little Drew (Lori and Kram's son) is having such a time with his blood. Today is his eighth transfusion this summer (his last being just five days ago). It is a balancing act of red blood cells, neutrophils, and platelets. Nothing is stable. When one goes up, the others go down. Today, they are all down. It looks like he is headed for a splenectomy - they just haven't decided whether it should be partial or full. We've done splenectomies before - but before we had more confidence the surgery would correct the problem. Now, we just don't know. Such a worry...

Having New Eyes...

Marcel Proust said: The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes. I like that.

Being with your grandson is a lot like having new eyes. Zach is an amazing kid. When you are with him, he gives you a constant commentary on everything around him - flowers, rocks, fences, ants. It is truly like seeing through three year old eyes.

While the adults played Bang, Zach and I played hide and seek. I was carrying Halle (who suffered the running and hiding without complaint). Zach didn't care if we hid in the same place every time. Often, it was a necessity. He would start out counting slowly, but 4-10 went in a flash - and I have a feeling he had his eyes open after 2. If we found a particularly good place (like behind the shower curtain), he would use it the next time. The joy was not in finding a place the other person couldn't find, but in playing the game - even if you knew exactly where the other person was going to hide. Each time you were found it was like the first - only better as you didn't have to search so long.

After a while we went outside to throw the frisbee. Throw after throw received his commentary: That was a tricky one. Whoa. Go get it. Don't throw in the garden anymore. I can't find it. That was a good one. Oh, it went down the window. Daddy, can you get my frisbee?

At one point, the inevitable happened, the frisbee went over the fence. The three of us went through the house and out to the side yard. As we retrieved the frisbee and headed to the backyard, some little neighbor friends called to him. Without hesitation, he responded, "I'm playing with Grandma." It was cute. Content in the moment.

Perhaps that is the secret of happiness - to see everything with new eyes and be content in the moment.

Use it up, wear it out...

Dad used to always say, "Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without." He lived it too. If you needed a nail, a piece of plywood, a section of garden hose, a smidgen of paint (Dad used to say smidgen a lot) - he had it. It's that growing up during the depression.

Mom caught the vision too. Sometimes I would drop in and she would be making rolls, or pie, or whatever. I would ask her what motivated the baking. She would often say, "Oh, I had some sour cream that was getting old so I decided to use it up."

I know I definitely caught the vision as well. I will often start cooking with the sole aim of using up my eggs before they get old. Steve always says I am nuts - just throw them out. I point out that the starving people in China wouldn't be throwing out food, so I won't either. (As kids, when we didn't eat our dinner, we were always made to feel guilty because of the starving people in China.)

I do think I am taking a bit too far now, however. I was visiting one of my extractors (Clarice) and we started talking about quilts. She showed me a neat book she had on quilts. I asked, "Were you a dedicated quilter?" She responded, "Oh yes. I was homemaking leader for a hundred years. We used to have three quilts on every month - one to tie, one to quilt, and a baby quilt. We used to sell them at the Relief Society Bazaar." Then she continued, "I don't do that any more. Several years ago I went through my closet and gave away SEVEN BOXES of material. Just recently, I found another box of fabric - called whipped cream. They don't make that any more. I decided I'd make it all up in baby quilts for my grand children (to come). They're all ready now and I'm done quilting."

Well, that got me to thinking. I have at least seven boxes of fabric that I have bought for quilts. (My motto is, when something is on sale, buy a LOT of it. But I don't even quilt - I just tie and have no real sewing talent.) I decided I should make up all the quilts I have so I can use up the fabric and the batting I have stashed away. I can't believe how many quilts I have fabric for. I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do with them. The baby quilts will be great for future grandchildren - but the queen and kingsized quilts? Who is going to want all of them. And they are not gorgeous fabrics. I have a lot of red/white/blue and some wild prints that would make anyone want to keep their bed made. So, when I die and you find this hoard of oddly colored quilts that look like new - you'll know, I was just using it up, wearing it out, making it do, or doing with lots...

Don't you love computers?

We met Josh Miller (an old neighbor) in the grocery store. Such a cute guy. Steve and Josh got talking about four wheeling. Josh says that after he goes mountain biking, he pulls an image of the mountain from google earth and (with the help of a trail book) charts the course he took! So he knows where on the mountain he has already been.

Recently a former student (Karren Perry) wrote me (and lots of others) to see if we would put a link to her blog. She and her husband are trying to adopt. They have learned that adopting takes a lot of networking, so they have created a blog showing them. The more people that put a link to the blog, the higher up it goes on google's page ranking - and the more likely someone will find their page and pick them. Neat idea!

In ward welfare meeting, we were talking about ideas for a "provident living" newsletter. Someone said, "How about sharing the website for GrocerySmarts?" It is a very cool website. I don't know if they have it in all states, but I can click on the stores in my area. It shows me what they have on special, marks the really good buys with five red stars, and even gives me a link to printable coupons for the item (so I get a sale price AND a coupon). Grandma Hurst would have loved it! (She used to call me to tell me about good prices at the grocery store. "Nuts are on sale at Smiths. You need to get them for dipping.") While I know good prices on things I buy all the time, it points out special deals on vitamins, laundry soap, and makeup. No more reading through the ads.


Recently I was buying nylons from my favorite mail order catalog - One Hanes Place. I always hate trying to find my size, my color, and reinforced toes. And do I really want the saleslady knowing when I move to "QueenSize"? Being able to just order what I want is great. I always buy a ton - as shipping is high. Well, recently, I googled "One Hanes Place coupons" and found a coupon code that gave me free shipping - just like that.

Well, I know I'm boring you to tears - but it was news to me!

Pay the Price

My mother was on a diet every Monday of my years in her home. She tried everything. At times, she was quite successful, but in the last years of her life her body resisted dieting. She was a large lady. She had to eat almost nothing in order to lose. Her body seemed to say, “Hey, we know we are headed for starvation, so latch on to those pounds.”

I seemed to have my Father’s metabolism and could eat anything without gaining. However, that has ended. In that last 20 years, I’ve gained 40 pounds. If that continues over the next twenty years, I’ll be a blimp by the time I die. I'll be one of those people on the news that they have to remove from their beds with a crane.

The doctors were always telling mom to lose weight as it would be better for her lungs. I went with her to Dr Abdullah (in Odgen). He was telling her she needed to lose weight. I said, "Yes, but it is pretty hard to exercise when you don't feel good. It is a vicious cycle." He jumped on that saying, “Exercise is good. I’m a proponent. I ride my bike to work every day. But you will not lose weight by exercising. It is all in diet. If your metabolism is slow, you'll have to really cut back, but it is all in what you eat.” I had never heard that before.

I have tried eating sensibly (not having junk food around). I’ve tried exercising daily. Nothing made any difference. I’m not sure I’ve ever lost a pound in my entire life. :-) I still have the original baby fat I was born with.

I admire people who have lost weight. Normally they credit exercise and diet. I am not a good dieter. I want something easy. I looked into the acai berry diet (you just don’t get hungry) and the colon cleanse. There is something wonderful about the idea of a colon cleanse. It is not that I am fat. It is just that my colon is filled with sludge. Of course, I haven’t figured out how that colon sludge got to my thighs, but I STILL like the idea. And you don't have to do anything - but eat the berry juice and take the medication.

My hair dresser said she tried the acai diet. I asked, "Did it work?" She said with a smile, "If it did, would I look like this?" We both laughed.

In talking to my petite daughter, she mentioned her calorie limit – 1700 calories if she doesn’t want to gain. Some breathing test they took at work measured her metabolism. She is good to exercise, is almost 30 years younger than me, and still 1700 calories for a MAINTENANCE diet! She said, “I figured anything I can chart I can conquer. You just need to start counting your calories to see what you eat. I omit butter from most foods, eat low fat mayo (or none at all), and limit my portion size.”

I tried it. My goal is 1300-1500 calories (if I want to lose a pound a week). I lost my first three pounds last month! The trick is - plan what you will eat! I used to always count calories and then when they were all gone, go grazing through the house looking for anything to eat. The planning way puts it in a spreadsheet and makes you decide what you are going to eat to stay within limits. I can't eat just one cookie. It is easier not to have any than to stop after one. I can eat lots of fruits and vegetables, but even good things have to be counted. 1300 calories is so few. I can hardly believe it. Potatoes are awful! Almost anyway you have them, they are 300 calories. Butter puts you off the charts immediately. One half cup servings are tiny. Even frosted mini-wheats are 30 calories each - and they don't even taste good. As you can see, this has been a reality check for me.

Anyway, I decided the trick is you have to be willing to pay the price. You can't just want to lose weight - you have to pay the price that the goal takes.

I remember going visiting teaching to a woman who did wonderful handwork. She had made an embroidered wall hanging that was beautiful. My partner (trying to praise) said, "That is so beautiful. I would pay $100 for it." The woman said, "Well, that is about what the kit cost for the supplies and framing. Then, I still had to do all the work."

Another time I heard someone say, "I would love to play the piano like that. I would pay $10000 for that talent." I thought, but what did acquiring the talent really cost - in terms of hours, the piano, the books, the lessons?

In all things, we have to be willing to pay the price. We reap what we sow.

Happiness is...

I remember a talk someone gave a long time ago. It went something like:
If you have lost a pound, you will be happy for an hour.
If you get a raise a work, you will be happy for a day.
If your team wins the game, you will be happy for a week.
If you win the lottery, you will be happy for a month.

I don't remember the details, but I remember thinking, "Yeah, happiness is like that. You keep waiting to be happy and then you get what you thought would make you happy - and it doesn't last."

I had my braces on for FOUR YEARS. I couldn't wait to get them off, but when I got them off it was no big moment. I was "happy for an hour".

David Meyers said:

Realize that enduring happiness doesn't, come from "making it." What do you long for? Fame? Fortune? Unlimited leisure? Imagine that I could snap my fingers and give it to you. Would you now be happy? Indeed, you'd be euphoric, in the short run. But gradually you would adapt to your new circumstance and life would return to its normal mix of emotions. To recover the joy, you would now need an even higher high.

The consistent finding from dozens of studies is that objective life circumstances, once we've adapted to them, bear little relation to people's happiness. At one extreme, people with disabilities—even those paralyzed after car accidents—typically recover normal levels of day-to-day happiness. At the other extreme, people who've won a state lottery also settle back to their characteristic level of happiness.

Consider, too, how we have "made it." In 1957, per-person income, expressed in today's dollars, was less than $8,000. Today it is $16,000. With doubled incomes, we (at least those not left behind by the growing gap between rich and poor) now have double the material goods that money can buy—including twice as many cars per person. We also have microwave ovens, color TVs, VCRs, answering machines, and $12 billion a year worth of brand-name athletic shoes.

So are we indeed happier? We are not. In 1957, 35 percent of Americans told the National Opinion Research Center they were "very happy." In 1991, only 31 percent said the same. Meanwhile, depression rates have soared.

Ergo, wealth is like health: Although its utter absence breeds misery, having it is no guarantee of happiness. There is no need to envy the rich. Happiness is less a matter of getting what we want than wanting what we have.

So, I've rediscovered it yet again. I always thought if I got a big NSF grant I would be so happy. The picture shows not one, but three big grants and three supplements that were all funded. I should be ecstatic! I'm busy and overwhelmed - but not one bit happier that I was when I had no NSF grants. Of course, there are lots of perks - but lots of responsibility to use the money well and be a good manager of all the people we've hired.

Grandma Hurst used to always say something like, "Don't wish your life away saying, I'll be happy when I'm through school. I'll be happy when I'm married. I'll be happy when I have kids. I'll be happy when the little ones can get their own drink of milk. I'll be happy when I have some time to myself. I'll be happy when the kids are launched. I'll be happy when someone comes to visit. I'm lonely. If you aren't happy now, you won't be happy WHEN..."