Putting the "dys" into dysfunctional

We had the most dysfunctional faculty meeting that I have ever been to today.

It's central components were:

A department head with a hidden agenda that was going to be rammed down our throats no matter what.

A full professor who thinks that only his opinion matters. He refuses to listen to anyone else and won't relinquish the floor to anyone else. This plays into the department head's plan, so he does nothing to control it.

A large contingent of faculty members who offer comments, but aren't willing to go up against the powerhouses who take the floor and won't budge.

It was BAD.

I am so sad

While earlier in the month I post about the "Happiness Project", I now am admitting sadness.

When I read "Waiting for the Light to Change", written by a high school friend of mine about her teaching experience at Logan High, I was so interested in the fun friendships that she had at work - people that genuinely supported and cared for each other. I thought about my work relationships. While I have lots of student teacher relationships that are great (and, of course, a few that aren't), our department has been a fairly sterile environment for friendships.

It generally isn't a well integrated group. Everyone is busy with their own students, publishing, and pressures. People are "friendly" but not friends, if that makes sense. Of course, there are exceptions. Mary V is personality plus - but she retired several years ago. Having two female faculty members in recent years has helped. But, generally speaking, I wouldn't consider my work environment a place to make friends.

Of course, I could be part of the problem. I remember the first year here, I made chocolates for Christmas and gave a plate to each faculty member. Nothing was reciprocated, and few even acknowledged the gift. I thought, "Oh, I guess they don't do that here." I've come to accept that work is work and friends are, well, something else.

But there are two fellows in the department that I really enjoy and appreciate (besides my husband, of course). Dean is an instructor for us. He is the greatest guy. He is a deep thinker, cares about everything, and gives personality to the department. Chad is an assistant professor and Co-PI on my grant. He is funny, has great ideas, and a "can do" attitude.

I am so sad. These two people are both leaving us. Dean is taking a more lucrative position with a company in town. Chad is giving up on his dreams of being promoted (due to an anti-promotion climate passed down from top administration) and taking a lecturer position with us. While he COULD keep working on the grant, he has chosen not to - as grant money doesn't matter for a lecturer - and he has other dreams to pursue. He'll be gone this summer to work on a business project, and in the fall, will teach twice as many classes. Our paths won't cross as much.

Happiness Project

On Friday I went to a luncheon for faculty women. The topic was happiness.
One of her thoughts was, "Contentment is not the attainment of what you desire, but the realization of what you already have."

The speaker also talked about The Happiness Project (by author Gretchen Rubin). On Rubin's webpage, she talks about creating your own set of happiness commandments - rules you live by to help you find happiness. Here are some of the ones she mentioned. (I haven't written mine yet.)

Be yourself.
Let it go.
Act as I would feel.
Do it now.
Be polite and be fair.
Enjoy the process.
Identify the problem.
Lighten up.
Do what ought to be done.
There is only love.

One of her ideas is "The days are long, but the years are short." With that in mind, I thought I should record, "The sleepover" - as how many times will I have a sleepover with my grandson?

When Zach sleeps at our house, his parents are in the basement with baby Halle, and he sleeps two floors away in the room with the twin beds. Last time, I offered to have a sleepover so he didn’t have to be alone. Last night was another of those sleepover nights. At about six this morning he started stirring. I wanted him to know he wasn’t alone so I said, “You okay Zach?” That started a series of questions:

1. When it is seven (the time he is allowed to get up), do you know how to start a show?

2. Can you turn the clock so I can see it?

3. I think I need to go potty. I’m a little wet. I need new underpants. Can you come with me? [We found his underwear, but not another set of pajamas.] I can just put my blanket on my legs so I won’t be cold.

4. Hey Grandma, you want an animal?

5. You can have giraffe or cat. I can’t find elephant. Can I turn on the light? [He does.] I found elephant’s bum. I did. I found elephant's bum.

6. Can you turn off the light so I can sleep?

7. Hey Grandma, you want giraffe? [He brings him to me and I tuck him under by arm, but he corrects…] He needs to go under your covers.

8. Hey Grandma, is your pillow white?

9. It matches mine, huh?

10. Hey Grandma, what are you doing?

11. Hey Grandma, can I get up?

12. Hey Grandma, the clock won’t get seven. I can’t go back to sleep. How come we can’t get up?

13. [He coughs.] I’m okay, Grandma.

14. Hey Grandma, is Grandpa sleeping a long time too?

[I hear singing over in his bed – “Ba-dub. A dub Dub dub.”

15. Hey Grandma, how about we don’t wake up at seven? Let’s get up now.

16. Is Grandpa awake?

17. Do you have Thomas? [We settled down to watch Thomas the Train.]


Children are such a gift. You see life anew in their eyes

Easter Day

Steve tossing Halle. I don't know who enjoyed it more.

























The fam playing Hungry Hungry Hippo (a gift from the Easter Bunny).



















Halle enjoying her Easter Egg.

I've got to Move it Move it

Dancing to "Move it move it"










































We decided "girls night 0ut" while the fellows are at Priesthood meeting is better with the kids at home. Grandma fed the kids while Chelle and Trisha grabbed take out. As you can see, the little tea set was a hit.











































Halle talking on a ipod (as a cell phone).

Three Generation Shopping Trip

We went on a three generation shopping trip. Halle will be one in a couple of weeks. She wasn't too impressed with trying clothes on, but once we let her walk around with one foot in a size three and the other foot in a size four, she was thrilled. Her favorite part was the little girl she kept finding in all the mirrors in the shoe department. She came home with some spring outfits, a pair of white sneakers (with sparkles), and a pair of jellies! Who even knew they still make jellies? I remember so well the first pair of jellies I bought for Kim and how thrilled she was with them.

The family was here for the weekend. The spouses stayed further South to be close to the NCAA playoffs, but all the kids and grandkids were here. It was fun to see them. We tried to have an Easter egg hunt outside, but wondered if they would distinguish between the candy and the cute little "chocolate balls" the deer left.

Last night I gave Brooke and Drew a bath. They were arguing over toys in the bathtub so I was looking for items I could give them. I found a pink plastic spiral brush/comb and told Drew it was a magic wand. He LOVED it, but it had the downside that he spent the rest of the bath dipping the brush in the water and flipping it on me (while chanting some magic spell). I had a hard time telling him that I didn't want the carpet or walls soaked, as it will all be gone within a month (as we are having our upstairs bathrooms redone). What fun!


When Drew saw the wall in our kitchen, he said, "They don't have any J's!"

Despite our frailties

Our home teacher just called to double check what time he is coming. That is typical. He first calls to set up an appointment. This morning it was, "This is Brother ___. I'm your 'come every month guy'." Then he forgets when the visit is and has to call back a few hours later. He has Alzheimer's. He comes alone as his partner is unavailable. He usually doesn't give a lesson as that is difficult for him. Carrying on a conversation is limited - as I tend to ask a lot of questions (which is not very effective with an Alzheimer's victim). Once or twice in every visit he tells us he has Alzheimer's. We tend to repeat a lot of the same conversations each month. I don't know him well - as he's only been in our ward a year (part of the new segment that was added to our ward), but I have a great love and respect for him. He comes every month. He is dressed in Sunday best when he comes. He doesn't let his forgetfulness stop him from serving. I feel honored to have him come each month.

Just showing up month after month may be the best message possible. Keep serving. The Lord can make use of your strengths and your short comings.

Spring "Break" and the March "Hare"

Greg had surgery today on his scaphoid bone of his wrist. He fell playing basketball and then went snowmobiling the following weekend. All that jarring did a lot of damage. He had a 2 mm crack in the bone - which they have screwed closed. He is to keep his arm above his heart for the next week - which means no ability to go to work.

Since he is 26, he is off our insurance - and (hopefully) on ICON insurance. But it is high deductible, so who knows if it will pay anything at all.

Greg seems to be doing well. He was nauseous after getting home, but that could have just been Steve's driving :-). He has been sleeping a fair amount and eating lots of toast. He is getting pretty bored - already. He says we really need a media computer for the TV.

If you look closely at his upper lip, you can see his "March hare".

Wonderful People

I got back from SIGCSE early this morning. It was a quick trip to a CS educator's conference. People whose focus is education are just wonderful people. They are giving, interested in everything, and fun to be with. There wasn't one without a story, an interesting point of view, and a friendly smile.

By the time I got to the airport yesterday, I had three hours to kill and both my books already read. I did jot down a few things on my to do list from the conference. I COULD have done real work, but I was not in the mental frame of mind to do so. I did play Freecell for a bit, and loved the fact that my computer is an effective heater. I would have been frozen in the airport without it. On the way to the conference, I had books to read, work to do, and sleep to catch up on (so I talked to hardly anyone) but on the way home - with a flight that didn't leave until 7 pm on a Saturday evening, most people were ready to visit. I must have talked to a dozen people between the shuttle from the hotel, two flights, and a shuttle from the airport. There were people going on Spring break - skiing or visiting friends, someone coming back from helping her mother with hip surgery, a fellow on military leave. They were fun loving, productive, good people. On the last leg of the trip, I rode with two students - one just starting a PhD in sociology and one just finishing a PhD in Family and Child Development. We visited the entire hour and a half back home - about their research, post docs, how to interview - anything and everything. One gal was from Virginia, here visiting her twin sister (who is also getting a PhD in sociology). She was trying to get back to classes at George Mason, but her flight was canceled and she couldn't get another one she could afford until Tuesday. She was retracing her steps to wait out the delay. The other gal was Taiwanese and just returning from a conference in Philadelphia. She had joined the church during her four years of grad school at USU, and was the PhD student of a good friend of Steve's.

In church today, they were talking about the rapid decline of society - and that church members follow the same trendline as society in general - just seven years behind. I wanted to say, "But people throughout society ARE wonderful. They really are."

These video clips are courtesy of an exercise science professor (I met on the Milwaukee flight) heading to Idaho:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YGc4zOqozo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-UoERHaSQg

Odds and Ends

In our personal history class, they challenged us to keep a journal. I was amazed at how much help the blog is in trying to piece together a journal. I thought there would be an easy way of downloading my blog's content (and putting everything in chronological order). I found ways of creating a book (but then I couldn't insert other things). I found a way of getting an electronic copy, but paying $8 seemed wrong. You shouldn't have to pay to download the content in a reasonable format. I finally just cut and pasted the entries one at a time into Word. There MUST be a better way.

I'm heading to Wisconsin this week for a SIGCSE panel. I could get pretty excited to be headed to Hawaii or Florida, but Wisconsin in March sounds about as depressing as Cache Valley. I really shouldn't complain, though. Today was BEAUTFUL. Steve and I even went on our regular summer walk (only slipping for a little bit of the time). Tomorrow is supposed to get to 41. SLC has been having nice weather, but we haven't. I can't wait for Spring. I'm already plotting where I can plant tomatoes. I have an awesome recipe needing sun dried tomatoes, and sadly, I'm all out of sun-dried tomatoes.

Since I lost last Saturday to work and will be gone next Saturday for work, I decided today should be purely for me. I started reading "The Diary of Mattie Spenser" and have just been transported. Thanks to all you who share what you are reading on Goodreads. What a marvelous creation.

I went to a baptism today (for Ashley, whose family I have been tending for for a few weeks on Tuesday evenings). It was so nice. I had forgotten how much I like baptisms. There were a few things that were different. For each baptism, they opened and closed the door in front of the baptismal font - being symbolic. They also have added folding curtains on either end of the hallway (where the baptismal font is located) and a glass panel in front of the font. It was fun to share the day with her family.

Drew had a scare and was back in the ER on Thursday night. In talking to Lori, she said he had been sick for a few days. After he woke up one night, particularly distressed, she asked, "What hurts?" He responded, "I do!" What a darling boy. He is such a joy. Hopefully, he is continuing to improve.

I can tell its fast Sunday tomorrow. I'm already craving food. I tried a really good and easy recipe for crock pot burritos (that I got from Kellie at our enrichment crock pot activity). This is a definite keeper. The meat was so tender, it took no effort to shred it. I lifted out some chunks of fat, but the sauce that remained was remarkably fat free and yummy.

Pork Roast Burritos

In a crockpot add:
1 pork roast, salt and peppered
1 large onion, chopped (I used dried plus a little water)
2 cans pinto beans (drained and rinsed)
1 bottle barbecue sauce (I used KC Masterpiece)
1 small jar apricot jam (about a cup)

Directions
Cook on low for 8-10 hours. After cooking, take the roast out and use two forks to shred into pieces. Make burritos as desired. I use tortillas (warmed in the microwave), pork, beans, and some sauce from the crock pot, sour cream, guacamole, olives, lettuce, tomatoes, salsa, etc. (I think some cooked rice would also be good.) I have a ton of apricot jam, so if you live close enough to grab some, drop by.


Here's my recipe that has got me craving sun-dried tomatoes. They are the flash of flavor that makes this recipe great.

TUSCAN CHICKEN CAVATAPPI RECIPE

1 1/2 pounds boneless skinless chicken breasts, each breast cut into ¼ inch strips
1 cup balsamic vinaigrette (commercial, or use recipe below)
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
2 tablespoons olive oil
5 tablespoons butter
3/4 cup chopped onion or shallots
1 pound mushrooms, sliced
2 Tablespoons minced garlic (I use canned garlic by Christopher Ranch)
2 cups fresh spinach (washed and trimmed)
handful of sun dried tomatoes
1 cup dry Marsala wine
1 cup Parmesan cheese
2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
2 tablespoons chopped fresh (or frozen) Italian parsley leaves, plus whole sprigs, for garnish
1 box of cavatappi (aka cellentani or double elbows) (Walmart carries Barilla brand Cellentani)



About an hour (or longer) before you plan to start cooking, slice the chicken and place in a Ziploc bag with the vinaigrette. Let marinate in refrigerator.
Sprinkle the chicken with salt and pepper. Heat the oil in a heavy large skillet over high heat. Add the chicken and cook just until cooked, about 6 minutes. Transfer the chicken to a plate and cool slightly.
While the chicken cools, melt butter to the same skillet over medium-high heat, then add the onion and sun dried tomatoes, then saute until tender, about 2 minutes. Add the mushrooms and garlic, then saute until the mushrooms are tender and the juices evaporate, about 12 minutes.
Add the wine and simmer until it is reduced by half, about 4 minutes. Stir in the Parmesan and mustard.
Return the chicken and any accumulated juices to the skillet. Simmer, uncovered, over medium-low heat until the chicken is just cooked through and the sauce thickens slightly, about 2 minutes. Stir in the chopped parsley. Season the sauce, to taste, with salt and pepper.
Meanwhile, bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add the cavatappi and cook until al dente (11 minutes), stirring occasionally. Drain. Toss with sauce and serve over the fresh spinach leaves.

Heartbound

I just returned from a special Relief Society meeting for our stake. The musical trio, Heartbound, spoke and performed. What special ladies. Their music was great, and their talks were equally profound. I had heard them perform at education week, but they have never been better than they were tonight.

Here's a sketchy rendition of my favorite story that they shared (from education week). A fellow was helping feed the orphans in an under-developed country. His job was to bang the ladle against the metal pot to announce to everyone that the soup was ready. As he clanged the ladle against the pot, the orphans started running towards the food, eager to fill their hungry stomachs with food. As they ran towards the volunteers, one orphan tripped and fell. The volunteer left his post, and ran to the young boy. He picked him up, brushed off his skinned knee, and held him close to comfort him. As he put the boy down, he noticed the other orphans had left the food line - and formed a line in front of him - to join the "hug" line.

We forget how important a hug can be. Go out into the world - and hug!

Record Breaking Day

Yesterday was the day our Darpa grant proposal had to be submitted (if we were going to meet the 10 a.m. submission March 1st and not work on the Sabbath). [Thanks to Cherri, Cherri's friend, Kim, Gary and Steve for supplying support letters - or at least attempting to.] It was an incredible day that began at 3 a.m. when I couldn't get back to sleep and started answering email about our joint submission. Luckily, I did go back to sleep after that. Four of us have been working on this for a month. It's a seven million dollar grant - and likely has about that many people vying for it.

I decided to actually go in to work as things are just easier there. It was a crazy time with everyone trying to share the same documents simultaneously, reread what was wanted to make sure we were on-track, adjust all the documents if we decided something should be added, approve each others' submissions, gain a few new skills (combining pdfs and adding page numbers to pdfs). One other faculty member was in his office. Two others worked remotely. One was with his extended family ninety miles away - but just kept working. Here are my personal records set:
1. Longest continuous time spend in my office (14 hours)
2. Most number of emails sent/received in a single day (I didn't count - but WAY too many)
3. Last car in the Old Main parking lot (I have never had that happen - usually at least someone has left their car while away on business)
4. Longest time on a single task with no interruptions (longer than a minute)

I am SO GLAD for the Sabbath. I totally need a break.

Great Grandma's Genes

During Halle's surgery on Friday, I got to spend the time with Zach. He is such a character. He just keeps talking all the time. I started writing down what he said. Here's a smattering of his conversation over a few minute's time, which starts as I am studying in front of the TV when he comes up the stairs first thing in the morning:

Zach: My clock is blinking. Can you make the clock stop blinking [there had been a power outage].
Me: Yes, I think I know how to make it stop blinking. Is that your monkey?
Zach: No, it is cat. Cat loves you. You are going to stay for a long time, right? [We fix the clock and settle down on the couch to watch his show.]
Zach: Don't open that book [looseleaf], Ok? It's too big for cat. That book is too big for cat. We don't open it. [We start watching Dinosaur Train.]
Zach: Can I share your blanket? Who are you writing. Can you write my name there at the bottom. Can I tell you how to spell my name. ZACH. Can you write Greg's name? Can you show me how to spell Ben and Chelle's name. Put the names on the bottom, okay? Is that good? [Back to the show.]
Zach: Tiny has a beak. I think its a boy. When this show is done, can we watch another one? Do you know how to? Velosoraptor's have feathers on the arms. Buddy can't fly. Buddy can't fly - no feathers. You can have amazing teeth too, AHHHH!
Me: Why is there a dinosaur on the top of the train?
Zach: It wants to see things. I think he's a girl. See that penguin over there [on the floor]? I think its from Madagascar. [The show finishes and we eat breakfast. I'm sitting next to the table.]
Zach: You want that light on?
Me: No, I'm okay.
Zack: I'll turn that light on. You love it on. You want some candy hearts? How about I get two orange ones for me and two yellow ones for you. Is that good? Grandma, my Mom and Dad are doing Halle's Belly Button so she's okay. Hey Grandma, I could be done. Those flowers [roses Brandon bought for Trisha] have pokies on them. We don't take them off. They smell good. I could be done. How about one more bite?
Me: How about five?
Zach: Okay, you count. One comes first. And two comes after that. Grandma, two, three, four. Now one more. I'm done. You can read your big book while I'm in the tubby. You can lay on the bed and read your book. [He gets into the tub.]
Zach: Grandma, we have a big book. I'm not in it, just Mom and Dad. I don't know who else. I think Grandpa is in it. He is by you and you are by him. Go get it. It is way up high. Can you reach it? Do this with your toes so you can reach it. Can you hear the bubbles? I can. Do you hear them? You are going to stay for a long time, right? You are getting big Grandma. Everybody is getting big. Kram can reach the ceiling.

Such a funny kid. He never stops talking. He is such an observer of people and knows exactly what he wants. He reminds me a lot of my mother - never at a loss for words, interested in everything, and always knew what she liked. Good genes.

Happy Valentines Day

For Valentines, Steve surprised me with tickets to the American Festival Chorus's Valentine's concert. Jenny Jordan Frogley and Daniel Beck also performed. It was a very nice evening.

The graphic is courtesy of my sister-in-law, Lori. I asked her to give me some templates I can use for bridal shower invitations. I'm such a novice with photoshop, but with her patience we got it to work.

The sentiments are mine. Our marriage really has been a dream come true.

Comorbid

I don't think I've ever heard of comorbidity before. In medicine, it means the presence of one or more disorders in addition to a primary disease.

I've been teaching myself about Aspergers because of a young friend I am tutoring in math.

The most common co-conditions of Aspergers are as follows:
·OCD Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
·SPD Sensory Processing Disorder
·ADHD Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
·Depression
·Schizophrenia
·Anxiety
·Tourette's syndrome
·Dyspraxia (monotone speech, uncoordinated, low muscle tone)
·Seizures
·Bipolar Disorder
·Learning Difficulties and Non-Verbal Learning Disabilities

That's a tough list!

Most of us who suffer from none of those things have no idea how good we've got it. Years ago one of my students was in a head on collision in Sardine Canyon. I think his accident was a force behind putting up the center barriers we have now. He was a brilliant, delightful young man. His folks came from India and spent several months with him in the Ogden hospital, before they took him back to India. He had severe brain damage. He couldn't talk. He couldn't walk. I visited him several times in the hospital. I thought how thrilled we would have all been if he could have just uttered a word, smiled, or followed us with his eyes. Simple things that we don't even appreciate.

Avatar

Greg, Steve and I went to Avatar. I loved it! In the museums I have visited in various countries, the one thing that hits you is how consistently a people (often Europeans ) take over another country for their own benefit. In Avatar, they tried to rewrite that all too common history. Nicely done!

Forty-three thousand pictures

I've been thinking about Lori Hurst's 43,000 pictures and thinking, I'm so glad she got those tagged as otherwise, when she goes to the great beyond, no one is ever going to know what to do with them.

The last couple of weeks I have been tending (during mutual) for a family in the ward whose wife is Young Women's president and the husband is a newly called bishopric member. When I was at their house, I saw something really neat. Their Grandfather had put together a book he called "Flying Lessons". It was hardbound and geared to kids. He had a picture of himself with his flight crew, the planes he flew, a plane being refueled, him standing next to the governor, etc. Then he would have four paragraphs next to each picture: an historical explanation of what was going on, his personal feelings, the life lesson in the story, and a gospel principle exhibited. For example, when he was talking about flying in the cold war, he said, "We are in a cold war with Satan," and then went on to explain. I thought it was such a clever idea.

Sadly, I don't have Lori's problem. I have so few pictures, tagging is not an issue. I do need to do something with the stories I have been collecting in my head. Otherwise, they'll never be much good to anyone.

Need Hierarachy

Grandma has had the same housekeeper for fifty some odd years. Lois has got to be nearly 75. Poor Lois fell and broke her hip almost three weeks ago. My OBGYN always said that breaking a hip for an older person often puts them in a care facility permanently - they just never recover.
When I heard the news about Lois, I felt so badly for her. Thus, I was taken aback at the conversation I had with Grandma (not once, but twice). It went something like:

Me: That is too bad about Lois.
Grandma: Yes. I don't know what I'm going to do.

I had to repeat the conversation (the next day) to make sure I heard it right. I was just surprised and mystified. I've been thinking about it ever since.

I think it has to do with Maslow's need hierarchy. You know, the idea that until basic needs on one level are met, you can't go to the next level.

I have come to understand where Grandma is on that need hierarchy. The week after Lois fell, we picked her up for dinner on Sunday and took her to the hospital to visit Lois. Steve was to her house on Wednesday to take her shopping. On Thursday, Steve took her to the mortuary for a viewing. On Friday, she needed to have her hair done and go to the funeral. Steve took her to her hair appointment. I picked her up from the hair appointment and took her to the funeral. Friends brought her home from the funeral. Within a few hours, she called me on my cell to say she had washed her sheets and couldn't get them back on so could we stop by. I then realized why her first reaction to Lois's injury was "What am I going to do?"

I hadn't realized how important Lois is to her independence. I hadn't realized that Kathy has been transporting Grandma to and from hair appointments all winter (so sweet of her). I knew Grandma didn't drive much - as we often take her to doctors appointments and always transport her for Sunday dinner, but I thought she drove short distances, when she didn't have to walk far, in the daylight, when there is no traffic. Guess not.

We have a "Lois replacement" who started last week. Yet, it was a real wake-up call for me to see the needs surface. There really aren't any good transportation options. Getting old is just plain tough!!!

Working on her Valentines

I got an email from a friend who said she was working on her valentines and thought it would be fun if all the Relief Society sisters sent a valentines note to our Relief Society president (who is absolutely fantastic). I thought that was a wonderful idea, but I kept going back to the statement, "I was working on my valentines."

I'm sure it comes as no surprise to any of you that "working on my valentines" would never occur to me. Most people would keel over if they got a valentines from me. Maybe I'll try sending them to the grand kids, as if they keeled over they wouldn't have so far to fall.

Give me the ups?

We've hear the quote ... Sooner or later, a man, if he is wise, discovers that life is a mixture of good days and bad, victory and defeat, give and take. He learns that it doesn't pay to be a sensisitive soul; that he should let some things go over his head like water off a ducks back. He learns that he who loses his temper usually loses. (anonymous)

Yet, knowing life is a series of ups and downs, I've always just wanted the "ups", but maybe I've been short sighted. This past week is a case in point. I needed to spend three days on a Washington DC trip. I was on a panel to advise grant money awards, but just so wished I could stay home and get ready for classes.

My first night at the Hilton (how I so love to be in a place where their job is to make me happy) I was watching a PBS broadcast on World War II. They chronicled the experience of a man who had spent eight years in a prisoner of war camp. He talked about walking for two days on a death march with no food and only a swallow of water (his tongue was so swollen, it wouldn't go back in his mouth), the pain of torture, having a rod shoved down his throat so he wouldn't scream. He talked about solitary confinement - that being the worst - and using the tap code through the walls to communicate with other prisoners.


They would spell out words and sentences by tapping on the wall. The coding was a five by five grid with all the letters except K. tap tap tap pause tap tap was "M". They taught the system to the new prisoners coming into the camp. To say this was difficult is quite an understatement, and punishment for communicating in any way whatsoever was brutal. Yet, they tapped. They might tap out GBY for "God Bless You". The communication literally saved their lives. What helped keep them sane was the ability to communicate. They needed to talk. They needed to be heard. They needed to feel connected, so they needn't feel alone.


At the end of the interview, they asked the man if he could remove his prisoner of war experience from his life - it just didn't happen - would he do it? Now obviously, that is a theoretical question as there is no way to remove it and no way to know what would have replaced it, but I thought his answer was interesting. He said, "No, for I learned so much about myself. I learned coping skills and what was important to me, what makes life worth living. It made me what I am today."


It really hit me as I had been wanting to "remove my trip to DC" from my life - just not have to go. Yet, I really had a great time in DC. I had seen the sights already and there was little time for sight seeing anyway. Yet it was a time for reflection - a time to refocus my attention and set goals. So here is what I decided I should do differently:

1. Deliberately attempt things that will stretch you - church calling, scripture reading, personal history writing, professional development. Unless you are failing a good share of the time, you are trying things that are just too easy.
2. Stretch your vocabulary. There are wonderful words out there that we never use. (People on the panel seemed to exhibit such a rich use of language.)
3. Technology is awesome - ipods, digital cameras, kindles, cellphones. Learn about iphone apps, Second Life, and other new developments. Don't be left in the dust.
4. Try to exceed my OWN expectations
5. Don't allow those I supervise to slide - they need to kick it up a notch.
6. Try some new recipes. I spent three days and spent $15 in food total (of course fruit and breads were available at the meetings). Mediterranean food is awesome. Pesto cavatappi at Noodles and Company was seriously good. I need to try to make it!

The things people say...

My niece, Lisa, writes the cutest things her kids say. Well, I have no little kids to say cute things, but I did think Grandma was a card at dinner today. She looked at Greg and said, "You sure do look good with hair!" I thought it was pretty funny.

During fast meeting, Gene M. bore his testimony about the nature of God and personal exaltation. A friend of his said that they thought the next life would consist of sitting at the feet of God and gazing upon him. Gene said, "I'd rather go to hell and shovel coal. I need to be busy." I thought it was pretty funny, but I'm with him. Having nothing to do is FAR worse for me that having way too much to do. I'm not very good with leisure.

Norm C passed away a month ago. He was a MASTER at flower arranging. He had his own business in California. He's done floral arrangements for department stores and temples. His yard is always amazing. His vision was really bad towards the end. Kelly said to him, "That must be really hard not to see clearly when you have spent your whole life appreciating things of beauty. It must be tough not to see." Norm's response was, "Oh, no, without my vision, I see the best I've ever seen. I see the things God wants me to see, the things that are most important." This is the same man that (near the end) he was in the hospital. His daughter came into his room to hear him singing to himself. The song? I Am a Child of God. What a sweetheart.

A Late Christmas

We opened present after we got home. Chelle and Ben hadn't opened their presents from us. Kimberly, Greg, Steve, and I had presents to open as well.

The kids gave us a gorgeous picture of the five kids (from Michelle's wedding) for over the piano. They also gave us an Ipod Nano, movies, The Five Love Languages, and a GPS system. Thanks! What great gifts.

Zach had nothing left to open, but as you can see, that didn't keep him from having fun. He loved the picture taking. After every one, he would yell, "Can I see it?"

Favorite memories:

• Zach eating cold cereal (while the girls went to New Moon) and exclaiming, "I'm having a great dinner!"

• Halle grunting for food. You could not eat without offering her something. She LOVED potatoes and green beans, but rolls and cereal were also favorites. The bottle holds little appeal for her now.
• Watching Halle "army crawl" all over the place.
• Halle's first step - witnessed by Kimberly and Brandon. It won't be long before she it walking. She is "determination plus". Zach and I were trying to "play" Blokus, but Halle could get to those pieces despite obstacles (and Grandma) in her way.
• Brandon starting a new job with Jacobs! Way to go!
  
• Playing "stack" and losing abominably every time.
  
• When I asked Zach what he wanted to do today, he responded by saying, "I want to sleep with Aunt Kim." The previous evening he had gone up to her room while the rest of us played games, and they had a great time playing on the bed.
• Having everybody help clean up after dinner. :-)
  
• Eating New Year's Eve dinner at 3pm, so Trisha could get home before dark. That was a great plan! All the work was done early, so we could spend the evening playing "Hand and Foot" and watching the new Star Trek movie (I even stayed awake).
• Having Greg's power supply "strangely" stop working after Halle sucked on it.
• Kim giving everybody massages and examining various muscle structures on babies and adults - as homework for her massage therapy class.
• Greg heading off to work (at ICON) even though he would rather have stayed home with the fam. What dedication! It has been so great to have Greg back home with us. He gets things done! He fixed the garage door, arranged for higher speed internet, and saved us $30 a month on our Dish network plan. Way to go! He is a problem solver. He figures out what needs to be done, and does it! Greg came home for a visit in November, but landed a job, and hasn't left. He's taken the law exam - and plans to start in the fall. With so few months before he will be gone, a job is a cherished item.
  

More Thanksgiving memories

Yes, that is Halle chewing on a snake. Chelle and I were babysitting and we thought it was so cute.

Don't you love Drew in his "crown", straw, and necklace? What a doll!

Chocolate Dipping - Thanksgiving time

As you can see, chocolate dipping is a family event. Greg, Michelle, Trisha and Kimberly were the dippers. Lori, Brandon, and Kram helped by tending the kids. Steve was our chocolate melter. It is a great bonding time.

While the neighborhood no longer exchanges gifts at Christmas (preferring to spend the money on humanitarian projects like sub for Santa), Kim, Michelle, and Trisha all dipped for their neighbors. Since Lori is allergic to chocolate, dipping holds little appeal for her. I think we dipped close to 30 pounds of chocolate (or 60 pounds of finished candy). We dipped peanut clusters, mints, caramel, Bavarian mints, English Toffee. We also made French Almond Nougat, but didn't dip it. Diet here I come!

This year I tried something new with the mints - after having half the batches go sugary. I tried dissolving the sugar (as best I could) by stirring it over low heat for a long while before bringing it to a boil. The one batch I did that way turned out perfect. Maybe I'll finally master it. I miss not being able to call Mom and say, "What am I doing wrong?" We used to have that conversation quite often. Usually the answer was, "I don't know. I don't have that problem."

Sunday Victoria: Church, Craigdarroch Castle, Museum

On Sunday, we went to church at the Victoria 1st Ward. It was amazing how similar the church looks to ones we see in the states. It was fun to be there, and I found myself wishing we could stay the whole block. We needed to check out of our hotel, so we had planned to return after sacrament meeting.

We went to the Royal BC Museum near our hotel. We saw glimpses of the first nations culture before the arrival of the British. Amazing how the story of Europeans coming to a country always results in the destruction of that native culture. We learned about Salish people - a subgroup of the Native American culture (in British Columbia, Washington, and Oregon).

The natural history museum was really interesting, showing animals in their natural habitat. There was also a modern history gallery showing coal mining, logging, and quaint villages. It was amazing - well worth the time.

We also went to Craigdarroch castle (as it was closed the previous day). I was expecting a castle like we saw in Ireland (run down, cold, ancient, lots of old family portraits). This was quite different. It was build in 1890 by a coal tycoon, Robert Dunsmuir, (who actually died before the castle was finished). It really wasn't a military establishment, so I'm not quite sure why it is called a castle instead of just a mansion. It is over 20,000 square feet, 28 acres (originally) and four stories. The woodwork inside is gorgeous. It has been used for many movies (such as Little Women). Stained glass windows are everywhere and all the rooms are staged to look like they may have been when the Dunsmuirs lived there. In one of the upper rooms, a woman told a story to children. The story was about trolls and seemed to have been constructed just so she could use different voices, talk in a funny accent, sing, and pantomime - but it was fun.







Cherri asked, "Why Vancouver?" No real reason. Kimberly knew people who had been there - and none of us had been there before. It was fun, but going there during the summer would have been better for the gardens. We hadn't brought winter sports attire so ice skating, skiing, and snow boarding lost its appeal. It was about 38 degrees Fahrenheit, but it seemed much colder. I'm not sure why. Maybe because we were outside so much.

Things were super expensive. The ferry to Victoria was $240 (round trip) - so I was glad we stayed the night. Gas was high everywhere -$1.05 a liter (almost $4 a gallon). Kim got HP discounts on hotels and the rental car, so that was great.

We brought out passports, not really believing we would need them. Lucky we did, as border crossing was serious business and passports were strictly required.

Victoria Butchart Gardens

Butchart Gardens is beautiful - even in winter. For Christmas, they had the twelve days of Christmas enacted. Steve is being a partridge (in the pear tree behind him). The pictures of the ocean are on the ferry ride to Victoria.

The picture with the lights is of the capital in Victoria.