Need Hierarachy

Grandma has had the same housekeeper for fifty some odd years. Lois has got to be nearly 75. Poor Lois fell and broke her hip almost three weeks ago. My OBGYN always said that breaking a hip for an older person often puts them in a care facility permanently - they just never recover.
When I heard the news about Lois, I felt so badly for her. Thus, I was taken aback at the conversation I had with Grandma (not once, but twice). It went something like:

Me: That is too bad about Lois.
Grandma: Yes. I don't know what I'm going to do.

I had to repeat the conversation (the next day) to make sure I heard it right. I was just surprised and mystified. I've been thinking about it ever since.

I think it has to do with Maslow's need hierarchy. You know, the idea that until basic needs on one level are met, you can't go to the next level.

I have come to understand where Grandma is on that need hierarchy. The week after Lois fell, we picked her up for dinner on Sunday and took her to the hospital to visit Lois. Steve was to her house on Wednesday to take her shopping. On Thursday, Steve took her to the mortuary for a viewing. On Friday, she needed to have her hair done and go to the funeral. Steve took her to her hair appointment. I picked her up from the hair appointment and took her to the funeral. Friends brought her home from the funeral. Within a few hours, she called me on my cell to say she had washed her sheets and couldn't get them back on so could we stop by. I then realized why her first reaction to Lois's injury was "What am I going to do?"

I hadn't realized how important Lois is to her independence. I hadn't realized that Kathy has been transporting Grandma to and from hair appointments all winter (so sweet of her). I knew Grandma didn't drive much - as we often take her to doctors appointments and always transport her for Sunday dinner, but I thought she drove short distances, when she didn't have to walk far, in the daylight, when there is no traffic. Guess not.

We have a "Lois replacement" who started last week. Yet, it was a real wake-up call for me to see the needs surface. There really aren't any good transportation options. Getting old is just plain tough!!!