I am so sad

While earlier in the month I post about the "Happiness Project", I now am admitting sadness.

When I read "Waiting for the Light to Change", written by a high school friend of mine about her teaching experience at Logan High, I was so interested in the fun friendships that she had at work - people that genuinely supported and cared for each other. I thought about my work relationships. While I have lots of student teacher relationships that are great (and, of course, a few that aren't), our department has been a fairly sterile environment for friendships.

It generally isn't a well integrated group. Everyone is busy with their own students, publishing, and pressures. People are "friendly" but not friends, if that makes sense. Of course, there are exceptions. Mary V is personality plus - but she retired several years ago. Having two female faculty members in recent years has helped. But, generally speaking, I wouldn't consider my work environment a place to make friends.

Of course, I could be part of the problem. I remember the first year here, I made chocolates for Christmas and gave a plate to each faculty member. Nothing was reciprocated, and few even acknowledged the gift. I thought, "Oh, I guess they don't do that here." I've come to accept that work is work and friends are, well, something else.

But there are two fellows in the department that I really enjoy and appreciate (besides my husband, of course). Dean is an instructor for us. He is the greatest guy. He is a deep thinker, cares about everything, and gives personality to the department. Chad is an assistant professor and Co-PI on my grant. He is funny, has great ideas, and a "can do" attitude.

I am so sad. These two people are both leaving us. Dean is taking a more lucrative position with a company in town. Chad is giving up on his dreams of being promoted (due to an anti-promotion climate passed down from top administration) and taking a lecturer position with us. While he COULD keep working on the grant, he has chosen not to - as grant money doesn't matter for a lecturer - and he has other dreams to pursue. He'll be gone this summer to work on a business project, and in the fall, will teach twice as many classes. Our paths won't cross as much.