At the SIGSCE conference I went to, they have a special session for "bloopers" - things that seemed like a good idea initially, but turned out disastrously in the classroom. As I read one account, it was so similar to an experiment I did a year ago, I found myself laughing out loud. Funny how time + disaster equals humor.
Steve is head of the activity committee (and I am the RS representative on that committee). He was charged with putting together a "distributed dinner" for a ward of 140 families - pot luck dinners of small groups of four couples, hosted in different homes. It "seemed like such a good idea at the time". People would get to know each other in smaller groups. There would be no large dinner, program, cleanup, setup, table decorations. However, it has been an incredible amount of phoning. The sign-ups went around early, so some people have been pretty antsy about if they will be hosts, who will be coming, how many will be coming (and will they fit on their dining room table), and on and on. There have been delays. The bishop wanted to involve some less active families that HE was going to call, but he's traveling abroad and we don't know what he learned. We had to call everyone who didn't sign up to see if they wanted to participate. We needed to form them all into groups (while still waiting to hear if others would participate). Then we had to phone all the "hosts" to see if hosting still worked for them and inform them who is in their group. In almost half of the cases, hosting didn't work any more. I think it could be a "Family Feud" category - "Name a reason you would cancel out on hosting a potluck dinner after you volunteered earlier in the month." I think it says a lot about our culture in Utah - lots of weddings, watching a child/grandchild in a sporting event trumps any other commitment, working, poor health, the spouse signed up but wife doesn't really enjoy entertaining. I think people don't entertain in their homes much anymore. I'm surprised at the stress even the thoughts of entertaining causes.
Sadly, I think people have missed the vision of the event. They are thinking about whether THEY would enjoy socializing with "assigned friends" rather than the good that will come from getting closer to people that they don't know well and reaching out to those that don't attend our congregation regularly (if at all). I sure hope the topic never comes up in a welfare meeting (as a missionary or activation event). I can see another UNWANTED "hijacking" in the making. It begins with "In Utah, we are so involved with family and sports and family sports, that all social events involve one of those foci. Those who don't have children in the home or lots of posterity close have no one to hang with. In the mission field, the ward was the family. There was great strength in those bonds." How does one communicate that while family is great and attending every single baseball game of all of your thirteen grandchildren is awesome support, missing occasionally is acceptable so that you can be involved in activation efforts, in-service meeting attendance, or supporting enrichment meetings? I think it would communicate a good message: "I would really rather be at your baseball/basketball/soccer/swim/wrestling competition, but life is about fulfilling commitments and doing things for others."
Anyway, I digress. We've been juggling groups and making more phone calls to get more hosts. Thank goodness for Excel. I was opting out of being a host, but now that I'm needed, I will be a host too. So... I still have to cook, clean my house, find table decorations, and make food assignments for those coming to my house.
After NUMEROUS calls and making several "I owe you" promises, we finally have all the hosts assigned. Now, we've begun "round 2" in which the hosts are calling back to say someone in their group can't come and do we have someone else for them to invite.
The funny thing is, "It seemed like SUCH a good idea at the time" that they want to do this every few months. I guess we'll get better at this.
Ahhh... "Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions." Let's just hope this really is a good decision.
2 comments:
Hey, I've got a friend who was in charge of the activity committee and has done this several times. I'll ask her for any secrets. Not my thing, and I'd be so worried that I'd be asked to host on one of the rounds, I would not attend at all. Steve and I are so anti-social, especially if it involves work to prepare.
I hope it goes well. Our ward did a dessert group for awhile, but that died out. Probably because it was a lot of work to plan.
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