The Wedding

The wedding is finally over. I can't believe the amount of time that Vicki and Chelle spent on it including the reception. Every time I would turn around, there would be something new that had been purchases for the reception. A few times I would ask, "How much is this costing us?" and Vicki would tell me not to worry. I really don't know why I asked because Vicki is in charge of the money, and if she spends it, we have it. Looking back, the money spent was well worth it. I still don't know how much it cost!

I have a few reflection about the wedding and the reception

All the kids came home when Chelle took our her endowments. Even though this was only two weeks before the wedding, they came home. It was such a sweet experience to be in the temple with the entire family for the first time. It touched me heart to have everyone there. There were many others there also and I appreciated that.

Then two weeks later everyone returned again for the marriage. This included my immediate family as well as my and Vicki's siblings. I can't tell you how important family is during these times. In the temple, I looked around and saw all the family there, my eyes teared up. What an effort those folks made to come and share the day with us; it meant so much to me. I'm sure Gary traveled the greatest distance from Austrialia. But no matter how close or far, we appreciated the effort made to come.

We didn't know the man that sealed Chelle and Ben. He was an old man (92 years old). I was a little concerned because I'd heard a story about an older sealer in the Salt Lake temple that took over 45 minutes for the sealing and didn't do a very good job. So I didn't have high expectations for this sealer. I was SO wrong. When he introduced himself, he had the same last name and from the same city, Grace, ID, as a friend of mine. I later found out that my friend is his nephew. He did a wonderful job. He told appropriate stories and experiences he had with the Brethern. It was great. I guess I shouldn't make assumptions about things before they happen.

During the sealing, the sealer mentioned that he didn't think Heavenly Father would keep those that had already passed on from attending the sealing. Right then, tears came to eyes because I knew that my father and Vicki's parents were there witnessing the wedding. What a blessing the teachings of the Church are to us. After the sealing, Jill came up and said, "I saw you tear up when the sealer said that there were those from the other side that were there. I knew they were there too."

We had a great time at the reception. I was in my element. I enjoyed so much talking to everyone that came. Once again, I was overwhelmed by the turn out of friends and family. It meant so much to me that everyone would spend so much time and effort to get there and make the occasion better.

When the reception was over, it didn't take us much time to clean up everything because many people stayed and help. My home teacher took the presents home and put them in my garage. Steve and Cherri stayed and took many decorations that they can use with Ashley's upcoming wedding.

By the time I got home, I was tired but pleased with the day. Once again I'm so pleased for the efforts people made to be her and help us celebrate Chelle's wedding day.

What I learned, family is so important. Vicki and I a have great family and both of us come from great families. Vicki and I are truly blessed.

It's been a stressful last few months. We've had interesting things going on in the family. I think that everyone of the kids has had some issues that I never thought I would have to deal with or had any idea what to do about them.

During this same time, we've also redone our kitchen; this forced me to eat many meals in the garage. I'm sure it was good for me. It reminds me of the talk that called "The Current Bush" when the Lord decides the time has come for an extreme makeover.

Some months ago I was thinking about the family and thought to myself, "Wow, what lucky person I am. Our family is doing well, everything in my life is going well; what more could I as for?" I think the Lord thought, "Steve, there are some thinks that you need to learn and now is a good teaching moment." I was satisfied with the way things were, but the Lord had a different idea. It was sort of like the kitchen. Everything was fine with it before we started, but someone else thought differently.

From that point, the Lord started the demolition job. Thing after thing just kept happening. I couldn't believe so may problems could arise in such a short time. You all know about them so I don't need to go into them.

I felt that the Lord was tearing me down. Boy did the demolition hurt. It seemed that when I thought nothing else could happen, something else did.

It reminded me of playing racquetball. There is a fellow that, if he gets a little mad because of something I've done, he keeps hitting shot after shot to me. Boy those shots come at you fast. When he does this, I keep asking him, "Have I learned the lesson yet I was supposed to learn?" After a while he will let me know that I've learned it. It is nice to have over.

I got to this point with the Lord, asking him, "Have I learned what I am suppose to learn? I'm a fast learner and I think I should be done" The last time I asked, He responded, "No, there is more to learn."

The final thing, I hope, happened this last week. I got an e-mail from a member of the group that I work with. He told me that he was having problems because I wasn't keep confidences spoken in the group. The rule in the group states that what is said in group is kept in the group. I couldn't believe he would say I had broken confidences. I wrote him back and told him that I had kept the confidences, but that if he didn't believe it, I felt I would have to step down from the group. If he thought I couldn't be trusted, what good was I in the group. He wouldn't be able to say what they wanted to in the group meetings because he might think that I would pass it on to someone else. I really had a lousy couple of days. I worried a lot about this. I talked with the man over the group and told him what happened and wondered if I needed to step down. There wasn't much he could say other than telling me to let him know if things didn't work out. This was one of the low points for me during this time.

A couple of days later I received another e-mail from this person telling me that he had discovered that I wasn't the problem and he was sorry for accusing me. That makes me feel a lot better.

Well, I think the Lord has decided that I am done with this particular learning experience. The reconstruction has begun. I'm excited to see the new me, the me with these experiences incorporated into my life. I'm sure I'll be a better person, but dang, the demolition and reconstruction hurt. It has humbled me and taught me so much. I hope I can learn from what has happened and be able to a better better father and a better instrument in Heavenly Father's hands.

I love you all and pray that the Lord will be with you.

Games

On our wall in the nook off the kitchen hangs a Christmans present. It was given to Vic and me by the kids. This wall tells a lot about our family and what we like to do in our spare time. We love playing games. When the kids were growing up, we, the family, were always playing games, especially on Sunday afternoons. Since that kids didn't want to (or couldn't) go outside and play with friends, we played games. This had many advantages for us as a family. The kids grew closer together and they learned to interact with one another in a positive way. It was a time for the entire family to do something that included everyone and everyone seemed to enjoy the time together. Maybe the enjoyment was forced, but so what.

It is interesting to watch other people play games. There are some that think the world will end if they don't win. Sometimes this type of player isn't very fun to play against because the game is all about them and their winning rather than the seeing the group have a good time. There are others that enjoy the game but don't care about the outcome; they are happy to be with the family. There are still others that are interested in making sure everyone is having a good time playing the game and could care less about winning.

Mom and I are in different universes when it comes to dealing with games. I am very competitive and I want to win. I have seen others that are more competitive, but that is a story for another day. Mom only cares that everyone has a good time. She helps others with answers to questions even if they aren't on her team. It really annoys me when she does this. But Mom only wants everyone to enjoy themselves and she doesn't care about herself. That is a great trait.

Just to give you an idea of my competitiveness, look at the score card on the right. Mom and I were up at the condo on Thursday and played Upwords. As you probably know, Mom is really good at Upwords and I'm okay. Mom loves the game but I don't like playing it too much because I tend to lose. Mom kept asking me if we could play and finally I gave in. I have to play Upwords once in a while or she won't play other games I like. As you can see from the score card, I beat Mom by 77 points. That was a record for me and I was proud of myself. I got almost all of the s's and a lot of other good tiles. Mom didn't seem to get anything good. I beat her and I was so happy!

Mom took the loss with grace. We played another game, SkipBo, and she won the first game. I forced her to play the game again because I was sure I could beat her in a rematch. I did, but Mom laughed at me throughout the entire game because I was doing dumb things like forgetting to use my cards off the stock pile.

Both of us enjoy games, but Mom gets other enjoyment out of them, besides winning a lot of them, by watching others in the family having fun with each other. This will come as a shock, but I'm trying and emulate Mom more often than I have in the past. The games aren't for winning and losing, they are for bringing the family closer together and everyone having a good time with the others in the family.

These ideas also apply to life. If you're just in it for yourself, you won't be happy, and those around you will be miserable, even though you're having a good time. Life is about including others, allowing them to have good times, letting them win once in a while. With that attitude, every one wins once in a while and every one enjoys the time and the companionship of others.

Isn't that what Heavenly Father would want us to do. Life isn't about us, it is about others and helping them out.

Dad

A Lonely Week

It's been a different week. It has been rather lonely since Mom was in Boise for the entire week. She returns this morning and I will be glad to see her.

This week has given me a lot of empathy for Grandma Allan and Grandma Hurst, both of which lost their spouses. Grandma Allan has been a widow for seven years. Great grandmother Rees was a widow for over 20 years. It get pretty lonely sitting in the house by yourself. I think I need to be better about visiting Grandmother Allan during the week.

Tuesday evening I was "on call" to participate in a disciplinary action with the stake. They didn't know if there would be enough men from the high council there. I didn't need to go because enough men showed up.

On Wednesday, I went to my regular group meeting; it was really nice. My partner was in Peru doing an engineering service project, so I was there alone. There were four others there. I enjoy meeting with the group, and since I was out of town the previous week, it was nice to be back.

On Thursday, the high priest group had John Fowles give a presentation on the temple. I really enjoyed his presentation, but there weren't too many there. After the little meeting, we all went to the temple. I enjoyed the session very much and got home about 9:30pm. It was good that I didn't have to sit home another evening by myself.

During the week I went into school four times. Some of those days weren't very productive since I was dealing with things in the department. On Friday, I "let" the department buy me a new laptop. Apparently there is a little money left in the budget that needed to be spent, so I helped them with their problem. I bought an IMAC pro. It is going to take me some time to get used to this laptop, but it is a new toy. I like the possibility of having three different operating systems on it. You have the one the comes with it, then I'll add Vista and some flavor of Linux.

Yesterday I went over to Grandma Hurst's and did something around the house. The painter had finished so I put the face plates back on to cover the outlets and light switches. I did some cleaning up around the house and packed up more stuff that needed to go. The house is supposed to close on June 27. While I was there the house inspector for the family that is buying the house dropped by to make sure everything was okay with the home. He found a couple of things that need to be taken care of, but they shouldn't be much of a problem. He was from Providence so I spent at least a half an hour just talking with him. He really was a nice guy.

Our garage is filling up with things from Grandma Hurst's home. I don't know what we are going to do with it all. I'm sure Mom will find some use for it.

Well, Mom called a little while ago saying she had landed in SLC. I really missed her and am glad she is home. I know she had a great time in Boise because I would receive 3 or 4 calls a day telling me what was going on. I hope that meant that she was missing me too.

Stanley's Adventure With the Idaho Spuds!

Stanley’s adventure with the Idaho Spuds!

(Vicki - adapted from the poem by CJ Heck)

I came to Boise

It’s the state of spuds.

No shirt and tie for me, boys.

I traded for new duds.

Priscilla is my favorite friend

She took me for a ride

We visited the park

Kim ran along beside

We had a frightening accident

And now I’m a bit flatter

Prissie rolled and lay down on me

At least, I didn’t splatter

There's lots to do in Boise

Though Kim often had to work

We made the book at HP

We’ll admit it’s quite a perk.

Where she lives is the Treasure Valley

Here they mined valuable gems
Prospectors kept them buried

That’s where the legend stems

The potatoes are as big as me.

I find them a bit scary

I visited workers in the field

But potatoes are too big to carry.

My favorites were potato flakes

I bet you can’t guess why?

Instead of being round and fat

They are as thin as I.

Kim showed me a new game

It’s called Mr Potato Head

They love it here in Idaho

At least that’s what she said

I am really quite angry
And I am really mad.
I can’t find the happy face,
It’s gone and now I’m sad.

I was playing that Idaho game
Called Mr. ‘Tater Head,
And Prissie barked at me.
As she was being fed.

I was sticking in two eyes,
Then I found a ‘just right’ nose,
But when I stuck his mouth in
It wasn’t where it goes,

So I pulled the mouth back out
And I stuck it back in … there,
But when I tried to give him ears,
His mouth fell on my chair!

I pushed his mouth in one more time,
Then I poked in both his shoes.
(I couldn’t find the purple hat,
That’s what I always lose).

Then the whole thing fell apart!

Everything came all unhooked!

That’s when the dog barked at me …
“Arfff, ya don’t use a ‘tato that’s cooked!”