We had a very strange Relief Society lesson yesterday. It was on Charity, which wouldn't have made it odd, but some of the comments were odd. I don't want to be critical, but just trust me, there were some mighty odd comments.
There were four points to help you develop charity. We divided into groups to discuss separate parts. Our part began with "Don't think you are better than everyone else." I thought it was odd - about as thought provoking as "Don't yell at people". Why would they have to tell us not to think we are better than others? Do people really go around thinking they are better than others? I guess I did that in seventh grade, but I hope I've matured a bit since then. I decided the lesson meant to say, "Don't judge others."
Teaching has taught me a good deal about judging. I've decided that most people are doing the best they can, given their priorities. What seems unreasonable behavior to me would likely be completely sane if I just understood their motivations. Students who sleep through class aren't usually telling me I'm boring. They are only saying, "I work the night shift and am sleep deprived."
I remember something that happened several years ago that gives me insight into judging others. I was in charge of the tutor room which seated a half dozen students. The tutor was to encourage the students to leave the tutor room after they had been there too long, so that others could get help. One day, the tutor on duty came to me saying there was a woman that just wouldn't leave when asked. I marched into the tutor room to explain to the student that she really needed to leave. She looked at me, but then went back to her work, totally ignoring what I was saying. I tried repeatedly to explain she needed to leave, but she just kept working as though I weren't there. It really made me mad. I went back to my office and called security to physically remove her from the room. I had barely gotten off the phone when the student came to my office (across the hall from the tutor room) to ask a question. I thought it was a bit odd she would come to me for help, as surely she knew I was angry with her. As soon as she spoke, I turned a hundred shades of red. I hurriedly said, "Excuse me. I need to make a phone call first." I had to call security and tell them not to come. The woman wasn't ignoring me. She was deaf.
I love this thought from Henry Eyring:
"A professor of mine, Ray Bauer, years ago corrected me when I put the label of "irrational" on someone's behavior. He said: 'Hal, you'll understand people better if you assume that people's behavior is rational, at least from their point of view. Try to see what they see.'
1 comment:
I can see the rational part in why people do what they do, it makes sense to them, but I still have a hard time when school work isn't a priority, or at least my homework doesn't seem to be. I know that students today are dealing with so much more stress - I have kids come in all the time asking when they can come in for help, but they can't come before school because they have a 0 hour class, they can't come at lunch, because that is the only time they have to spend with friends, they can't come after school because they are in track. I usually try to counsel that they need to get out of some things if they are not keeping up. But there is so much pressure to do more and be more than we ever had to deal with as children.
Post a Comment